I'm so, so stupid.

I deleted my blog.

All of it.

A year and four months worth of posting. Posts on day trips and vacations. Posts that were rants and posts that sang praises. I deleted the entry with my dog, Neely, just after she died. I deleted the entry with my new puppy, Piper, after her first swim in the ocean. I deleted my posts about Harry Potter, about work, about friends and about family. I deleted my thoughts on favorite authors and novels. There are no more pictures from the Blueberry Festival or the the Bahamas. There are no more silly posts about wasted time with my boyfriend or lazy days at the beach.

I deleted everything. And now I totally regret it.

It doesn't actually matter at this point that it is deleted. It's gone and I can't get it back. (I tried, believe me.) All I can do is start again. But it's pretty sad starting from scratch when I had managed to build up so much. I grew to love blogging and was proud that I had started posting regularly.

So, here it is again. A Mercurial Nature. The same blog, but not really the same. (For one thing, it's quite a bit uglier. I'm going to have to work on the design and color schemes to try to bring back the old look.)

I'm so annoyed with myself at the moment. Part of me wants to scrap this blog altogether, start fresh with something new on another server. But, I don't think I'm going to. I think I'll stick with this one. Even though there's no proof now, it's where I started. It's where I want to be.