Thursday, November 20, 2008

Everything is okay.

As I walked across the Starbucks parking lot this morning sipping my Peppermint Mocha Twist with the first flurries of the year floating to the ground, I knew everything was okay. It sounds trite, but in that simple little moment, I was reminded that I am happy and life is not perfect, but good.

I started to crash yesterday in early afternoon. My worries and stresses caught up with me, and I was suddenly feeling incredibly overwhelmed and anxious. Some rough things happened at work this week. We powered through and things pulled together just fine, however trying to remain calm, cool and collected through the whole ordeal ultimately took its toll. Yesterday was deadline day for one of our editions, and I continued to finish everything like I needed to, but my mind was whirring. I felt like I was in a fog. How were the next few weeks - the next few months - going to shape up?

I stayed almost an hour late at work trying to map out the next two weeks. I figured out what there was to cover for stories and how I could juggle my schedule to get to it all. I saw my free time - my crafting and baking and shopping time for the holidays - slowly slipping away. I realized one event I wanted to get into the paper was on John's birthday night, and it just simply wasn't going to get covered now. (Because I certainly wouldn't be skipping my boyfriend's birthday dinner.) That unnerved me, though. How many things would conflict? How much more would we miss?

When I got home, I tried to unwind, only to realize I had cupcakes to make for the high school's scholarship dinner Thursday night. Ryan was awesome, though - after making a great dinner, she stopped at the grocery store for me while she was running an errand and picked up a couple things I needed. I ended up making pale pink mini cupcakes with bright pink frosting (pictured above), since the theme of the dinner is "Pink Panther" because it is being held the same night as the school play's opener. The baking helped me relax (as usual) and I took Piper for a nice long walk. It was freezing, but the cold night air calmed me down, too.

Which brings us to this morning. I delivered my cupcakes, and they loved them. I went to cover a story but was told the wrong day, and that's how I ended up grabbing a quick Starbucks. With the Christmas music playing, the flurries falling, holiday decorations going up all around... it pulled the rest of the worry out of me.

Work will be okay. I won't really let it not be okay. And life is okay. I have bills, I don't much money, but I have a great family, a wonderful boyfriend, some close friends and my entertaining (albeit exhausting) dog. And I have a job - right now it's not exactly the best job, there are a lot of concerns, but I'm lucky to know I'll still have this job tomorrow and next week and next month.

It's all going to be okay.

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